As I stood on the lawn just above the sinking dock on which male uncles and cousins gleefully set off illegally procured fireworks, watching explosions of color and then facing away from the gagging sulphur smell that followed each eruption, I felt the giddiness of release after so much grief. Much more elaborate and professional … More Will You Take My Hand?
My family and I visited my father and Mark, his husband, this past week in San Diego. In the month leading up to the trip, I experienced interrupted sleep which induced anxiety, and two incidents of poor judgment/inattention that luckily did not result in bodily harm. I wondered if this impending reuniting might be the … More West Coast Connection
Sometimes, this blog feels like a confessional, a place where I can pour out my heart and that leaves me feeling lighter when I am done. This is such an instance. We are home, exhausted and sad. Our trip there, through lake effect areas, was surprisingly easy. As we got closer to Malone, late afternoon … More Goodbye, My Van Ran Over My Leg
Mother, a word that always is in the forefront of my mind. Usually, I am thinking about myself as a mother: critiquing recent interactions with my children, always finding things I could have done better, slapping my forehead at things I wished I hadn’t said or done or recognizing moments I could have been softer, … More Mother
My grandmother, the brave, tough person facing terminal lung cancer, celebrates her 95th birthday tomorrow. I am not one to promote age. As an almost middle-aged person, I hide my own age beneath hair dye and the pithy saying that each year, I celebrate my 28th anniversary. But, on this occasion, I want to shout … More Too Much Thinking
All my life, it seems like I’ve been waiting. My dad loved to make me wait, or rather he was so focused on himself, he was oblivious to what I was doing. This sounds harsh and judgmental, like I’m still angry at him, and maybe I am, but it is also true. Late at night, … More Waiting…
Grandma’s house was always a haven for me. It was a place to escape my troubles, and pretend mom and dad were still together, or, at least, that the issues that drove them apart weren’t things I had to contend with. Growing up, I spent less time at this serene spot than I wanted, but … More Grandma’s House
There’s a theme running through my life. It pops up in every word I write, every conversation I have, and every detail of my life. It could be that it’s always there, and it is only because it’s on my brain that it is noticeable. But, I choose to believe there is more order to … More Strong & Perfect, Wrong & Wrecked
Haven’t posted much of late, so I thought an update on what’s been going on in my life might be interesting (or not, but if you don’t think so, please keep it to yourself!) My mother-in-law (who lives exactly 1.5 miles from me, I know because my father-in-law who’s very precise measured it), her neighbor … More Free
I was reading a blog on failure (http://catsandchocolate.com/2013/11/25/monday-night-inspiration-failure-imagination/) and how it should not be regarded negatively, but rather as an opportunity for growth. While I concur with Liz’s, and J.K. Rowling’s points, I can’t help but cringe at my own history with failure. When I turned 28, I had been married for three years, the … More Failure: When an Opportunity for Growth Isn’t Seized
Breaking the Cycle 716 